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Is Love The Only Thing You Need? What About Trust, Understanding, Care And Respect?
Michael Gerber's "The E-Myth Revisited" - "Why The Majority Of Small Companies Do not Work And What To Do About It" urges company owners to develop strong visions for their businesses.
How does that translate to females, and men, who want to be in successful relationships? Surprisingly well.
Since we're all imperfect human beings, our design flaws in any one region of life will certainly impact other areas also.
Gerber writes:
"Most of us have had the encounter of becoming disappointed by a person in whom we have put our trust. Trust alone can only take us so far. Trust alone can set us up to repeat those exact same disappointing experiences. This is mainly because true trust derives from knowing and not from blind faith.
To know, an individual must understand. To understand, a person should have an intimate awareness of what conditions are really present. What people know and what they don't. What men and women do and what they do not. What men and women want and what they do not. Who people are and who they are not."
It becomes possible to develop 'an intimate understanding of what conditions are really present' when you are prepared to withdraw from the romantic justification: "Love is all you need" for so long as it takes to work through the numerous stages of relationship developing - which Gerber defines as 'Infancy', 'Adolescence', 'Past the Comfort Zone' and 'Maturity'.
"How am I supposed to manage that?" you may be questioning. If you are single, test the waters by checking out a free dating web site by searching: free dating web or web dating. But if you are in a relationship, Gerber says: Replace the word "relationship" with "business".
Gerber talks in greater detail about working on the business as opposed to in the business, a fascinating concept for anybody who has ever spent time attempting to pick up the broken pieces of a relationship while in the wake of a partner's abusive outburst.
Gerber says:
"To put it simply, your job is to prepare yourself and your company for growth."
Having spoken to hundreds of abused girls over the years, I can say confidently that abusive men do not change their behavior. They might use concealer whenever you initially meet and fall for them, and their behavior may proliferate over time, but still those habits are there from the start.
The "love is all you need" method will blind you. Working from the start at establishing a foundation of reciprocal care, respect and equal rights will swiftly enable you to see the face behind the concealer.
I have yet to encounter an abuser who can handle selflessness for longer than it takes to earn a couple of vital brownie points. And even then they don't just do it; they make a 10 course banquet of it.
Neither do abusers 'do' solid foundations. Love is all they require. What they term love (as time passes, increasingly a justification for all their bad behavior) is most unlikely to be all you need.
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